Here's a cover letter for an executioner's position for that class also.  It's not real...

Home address

2255 Fungo Bat Drive

Davis, CA 95616

(925) 555-2194

4/20/10

Dear ,

            I am applying for a position as executioner to your wonderful prison.  If it is possible, I would appreciate the opportunity to discuss my candidacy with you.  You can find my resume attached to this e-mail. 

I am looking forward to the opportunity to be the one who throws the switch, pulls the lever, or presses the button that starts the slow-moving contraption.

Some of my experience and skills for this position include:

1)    Consistency- In the fifteen years I’ve worked as an executioner’s apprentice there have only been 26 botched executions under my watch.

2)    Lack of Remorse- My work as a bouncer and a bounty hunter has gradually rendered me emotionless for the physical pain I cause others.  Also, my service in the Gulf War has taught me not to question orders and has basically shown me every horrible thing one person can do to another person.

3)    Persistence- One time the rope failed to break the hangman’s neck and he just sorta dangled there for a while cursing at everyone.  The only thing I had around me was my shoe, so I used that to end things…

4)    Degrees from Oxford University and Texas A&M College. 

5)    Can name every Andrew Lloyd Weber Broadway musical

I’m looking forward to the opportunity to prove that I have the motivation and the solid work ethic required to be a fully efficient aspect of your execution system.

Sincerely,

Kevin Cabral